HOW TO OVERHAUL A CAT 379
by
Bill Wagner
This is the way a small tugboat company, otherwise known as a creek
outfit, might go about overhauling a bad engine.
As usual, one of the rotten old engines in the rotten old tug will
probably let go on a long tough voyage. Now it’s the job of the
captain to bring the tow in on one engine. The owner will complain
and begin pointing fingers, all this in the form of screaming into
the phone at anyone who calls the office to describe the situation.
Eventually, he’ll calm down and assign one of the other boats and a
tired crew to go out and help the crippled boat in. The crew will
complain and speculate as to who was at fault for the engine
failure, but in the end, they’ll fire up the boat and head out to
meet their fellows.
Once the boat is home and safe, the owner confers with the boat’s
engineer, who makes the problem out to be worse than it really is.
This may recharge the owner’s ire for a bit, but the grief is worth
it. A slick engineer can “hold up” the owner for more money by
reminding him that without his expertise, the repair bill is
completely written by the mechanic that will come down to help with
the engine. It doesn’t matter that the mechanic may be a bit of a
friend of the engineer. A mechanic always has the potential to be a
dubious character, according to the slightly less dubious engineer.
So, they contact a diesel mechanic. These aren’t hard to find. There
are plenty around. The trick is to find a cheap one. But the cheap
ones may not know much. So the real trick is to find a cheap one
that knows his stuff. But if a good mechanic is cheap, that means
that he’s had some trouble back down the road of his career, or he’d
be working for a big diesel company. Mechanics from big diesel
companies wouldn’t be associated with the likes of creek outfit
owners and their engineers. But there’s always a chance that the
mechanic in mind can get the job done without too many problems and
the call is made.
The job begins with the engineer and the mechanic standing on either
side of the engine, removing nuts and bolts and parts, carefully
placing them all into cans and buckets. Both of them know that all
of these will have to be cleaned, the old gaskets will have to be
removed, and they will need to be inspected for other problems that
weren’t apparent under normal operating conditions. But two out of
these three tasks are considered to be (shit work). Another
challenge stands in the way of a trouble-free overhaul; the engineer
must convince the other crew members to forget all the times that
his sociopathic behavior turned their workplace into a hostile
environment. They aren’t likely to assist willingly if the engineer
has been an overbearing tyrant. With a little luck, there may be a
new employee who doesn’t know any better that will take on the task
of performing the engineer’s dirty work.
With all of the performers in place, the overhaul continues with the
removal of more parts, their cleaning, and inspection. The parts and
their associated buckets of hardware are placed in logical order by
the parts cleaning tub, nothing more than the bottom third of an oil
drum, cut off and trimmed at the top edges to prevent cuts- to the
delicate parts, not the employee. The employee pressed into parts
cleaning duty sits on a milk crate beside this contraption which has
been filled with VARSOL™ and, using brushes, flesh rending scrapers,
and other blades, removes the grime and all traces of the petrified
gaskets from each part in line. This process continues until each
and every part is cleaned, or until the parts cleaner’s hands are
cut to shreds and void of any skin moisture. Then he is allowed a
half hour or so to rest.
Meanwhile, the engineer and the mechanic must inspect the cleaned
parts for damage or wear. Parts damaged by operations and normal
wear are noted for replacement. Parts damaged by the scrapers and
blades during the difficult gasket removal process are held in the
face of the parts cleaner as he is berated and chastised for his
ineptitude at a job that he’s never done before. Before any
inspections take place, however, the engineer and mechanic will need
to take a break in the climate controlled galley of the tug. Cold,
sweet iced tea is waiting in the reefer, so they ascend to the main
deck for refreshments and relief as the parts cleaner catches up in
the overhaul process.
After all of the parts have been deemed ready to install, the
reassembly of the engine begins. The engineer and the mechanic begin
putting the pieces of the engine together again. The parts cleaner
has no more work in the parts tub so now it is up to him to keep the
engine room clean, retrieve dropped tools from the bilge, and nod in
agreement to every profanity laced statement that the engineer
utters in his direction. During the reassembly process, all forms of
life in the tug yard come down to the engine room to witness the
feats of marvel that engineer tells them he’s performing, and to add
comments of their own. They would do it another way, or the last
time they saw this done, it was done like this, not that. The
engineer listens to their advice and responds with the usual
profanity. The mechanic begins to tire of this job and continues his
work with much eye rolling. Time is money at this point.
At last the engine is together again, the new unpainted parts stand
out against the yellow paint of the old parts. Water and oil are
added, a few adjustments are checked, and the engine is ready to
start. The engineer turns on the air, and with a sharp pull up on
the starting handle, the starter jumps to life with a high pitched
yelp. The engine turns and rumbles and then? Nothing. There are
curses and the two men scramble around the engine to see if any
detail may have been overlooked. If any changes were made, they were
made in secret, so that the offending party could maintain his
credibility. So, finding or admitting to nothing, the starter handle
is pulled up once more. The engine turns and rumbles, and then
clatters to life. The overhaul seems a success.
Over the next few days following the engine work, the boat will need
to be tested. The engine will be run in the harbor for a few jobs.
The engineer will be talking about the multitude of mistakes that
the mechanic made. That is, unless the mechanic comes back to help
make adjustments. Then it will be the fault of the parts department
at the big diesel company. But eventually, the engine gets a clean
bill of health and the owner starts looking for offshore work. All
is well in the tug yard again; the boat can go away and make some
real money.
And there are sometimes happy endings for the laborers. The deckhand
who had been conscripted as parts cleaner might be noticed for
possessing a little more talent than the average “deck ape.”
Sometimes an engineer will tell the owner that he’d like to use him
as an assistant. From there, a young man might begin to learn the
skills needed to become and engineer. If that happens, then it turns
out that all the pain and suffering at the hands of the engineer was
worth it. As long as he doesn’t pass the pain and suffering to the
next generation.
